Day 13: A Child Can Make Progress and Still be Excluded

My phone chimed the other day to alert me of my recent blog stats.

It turns out that my most popular content on my blog is abut getting kicked out of daycare.

Google search engines send tons of visitors to my page each day because parents around the country (and world) are going through this.

But today I am not going to talk about that part.

What I want to talk about is this: when our children are capable of growing and overcoming their most severe challenges but the damage is done. They are still being excluded.

When my daughter was expelled from daycare, it was back to back over a period of a few months before her third birthday.

She was hitting, biting, and screaming all day long and couldn’t adjust to a new center at the time.

Something was wrong and we didn’t know it yet.

Well she is turning five-years-old now.

She has been getting ABA, OT, and Speech for over two years.

She has an IEP and gets services.

She is diagnosed, treated, and progressing.

Now, she can even sit for circle time now.

She doesn’t hit her friends or bang her head agains the wall anymore.

She can participate in group activities and play with her peers.

Sometimes, like her peers, she needs redirecting and promoting to share or emotionally process losing.

While she still needs some assistance, that I now have access to provide through my insurance, she is fully capable of being included with her typical peers.

Not only that, it is detrimental to her continued progress and development that she be included.

But how does that help me now?

Now that there is nowhere left to go?

Does no one understand that our children are capable of growing?

That they won’t always be the bad kid.

As I find myself looking at summer camps, they are sadly outside of my own town.

Summer camps that would force me to either withhold her from extended school year (which she needs, especially right before kindergarten) or to hire nannies I will struggle to pay.

It’s funny. I have complained a lot about the cost of hiring someone full-time for the summer. And unless you have kids like mine, you don’t understand that it doesn’t end at hundreds per week for just our daughter.

We still have therapy bills, doctor bills, activity bills, and camp/child support for her brother.

I didn’t even mention our mortgage, utilities, cell phone bills, cable bill, car payments, insurance costs, student loans, and credit cards.

And grocery shopping.


And so on.

I do this annoyed, knowing my child has progressed but is stuck at home because she can never go back to the only four centers in our vicinity.

All because she struggled when she was two years old.

It seems a bit harsh, doesn’t it?

That they perceive our children can’t grow.

Published by mischiefmomma

Mischief Momma was started in 2016 to write about the playful truths of parenting and life. In 2017, MM began to focus more on writing about parenting and life on the spectrum and raising her daughter and stepson. She writes about the joys, humor, and struggles of raising children who are different, and navigating obstacles like childcare, education, and work. This mom writes about her journey upward after hitting rock bottom.

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