Day 18: There is nothing wrong with my child

On Tuesday, we had our bi-annual check-in with her Developmental Pediatrician who commented on how far she has come. 

How incredible she is.

The joy of watching her grow and her personality unfold. 

She commented that Ally should be in commercials. 

Picture that for a moment…I have been making jokes since she was two-years-old that she just has “Rockstar syndrome” and adolescent narcissism. 

I can already imagine her bossing me around (even more than she currently does). 

We had a positive meeting for once. And luckily, this week we are on an upswing. 

Since yesterday’s epiphany, a lot has crossed my mind. 

It could be because we spent an hour talking about her in an IEP meeting this morning where they praised her. 

Sometimes we need that right? When we spend our entire life trying to help our children climb these mountains, we forget to stop and take in the sights of how far we have climbed. 

Today her school psychologist commented on her IQ testing and results.

Hearing out loud how far above her peers she scored was so strange versus reading the report that arrived by mail. 

And it was pretty awesome. 

Yes, for once. I’m going to brag. Because I never get to brag. 

Other people have their sports and ribbons, my 4-year-old scored 114 on her IQ test and without putting in her full effort and potential. 

They got her on a good day when she was willing to participate and while she did through most, towards the end she turned it into a game and looked for his reaction instead of following his directions. 

He commented on her humorous and “quirky” personality. 

Both good personality traits to have. So you can be smart and funny. And quirky.

And then we all agreed that her score could have been even higher had she stayed on task the entire time. But that is the exact reason she needs an IEP, to manage her behavior and support her social/emotional development. 

I can’t believe how far she has come with two years of public preschool though.  

There was a time when I found myself so caught up in trying to fix her and catch up to things her peers did without a struggle. 

But what I didn’t realize at the time was that she wasn’t broken. 

Talking about ways to support my daughter at school today just reminded me that there isn’t anything wrong with her. 

I’m not saying she doesn’t have autism because she absolutely does.

What I mean is that she is different and needs an offbeat approach and that isn’t wrong. 

Different isn’t wrong. 

She is capable. 

I honestly think every child’s education should be individualized and that a “One Size Fits All” mentality isn’t going to improve our society.

It is okay to say that not every child can grow up to be a doctor. 

That some could be the best mechanics there ever were. 

Or that we need more nurses than doctors anyway. 

That is the one thing that I am never going to stress about. 

I don’t need either of our children to fit in some box dictated by test scores and competitions with other countries. 

They have their skills and they have their weaknesses and there is nothing wrong with them. 

Published by mischiefmomma

Mischief Momma was started in 2016 to write about the playful truths of parenting and life. In 2017, MM began to focus more on writing about parenting and life on the spectrum and raising her daughter and stepson. She writes about the joys, humor, and struggles of raising children who are different, and navigating obstacles like childcare, education, and work. This mom writes about her journey upward after hitting rock bottom.

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